When your eyes opened, so did all the dawns, And when your eyes closed, all the roads ended.

And when your eyelids opened: bells began to toll in all the temples and I began to read from those long awaited letters.

And if only I could look into your eyes perhaps Sleep would come easy tonight.

3.15 AM, 5th Night of Torment, nth spent in the first circle of Hell, what did I do wrong to suffer so?

Sleep Sashi, for you will hear no answers but the echoes of your own silent screams.

Again from the face of moon lift the mists, Again in this perfumed night I have to burn. Again the waves of anguished breath break, Again from the face of moon lift the mists.

• Gulzar's Aaj phir shaaym ko jalna hoga.

Sometimes my heart ponders this: perhaps if these days were spent in your shadows, then perhaps they would have become verdant and had your eyes looked at me just a little longer this darkness which consorts this gloomy life would
perhaps have become light.

Strange it isn't that, perhaps I would have found grace in your strange beauty beyond understanding had I lost myself in your perfect body. Thus being in that exalted state under your deep eyes, perhaps if sadness arose within you, from your lips, I would have taken onto mine all of your silent sighs and silent screams

Thus somewhere in your shadows, I would have lead my life silently, without much complaint. But this wasn't possible, this didn't happen. So here I am, without you, berfet of even sadness or yearning for company.

And this life is passing in a such a way as if it has lost all desire to seek any other support. Like a necklace I have worn the sorrows of time around my neck. I wander along strange roads, under stranger shadows, stewrn with thorns that seem to drain away life and painfully take me closer to death with each step

Now there is no home, no destination or light at the end of tunnel, And in these thoughts I am lost and in these thought I remain. But just like that, sometimes a thought arises in my heart: if these days were spent in your shadows, perhaps this life would have been different.

Sometimes, only sometimes.

As I was walking home from the Taekwondo class in the rain, memories of another rainy night came to me. And I started humming this old classic Hindi song, Khabi Khabi. It was a Nazm written by SAHIR LUDHIANVI. The original, which I translated above very poorly, is a very beautiful and very sad nazm.

However as it is too complex for mass consumption, Sahir later modified and simplified to fit it the film tune. He made it more romantic too.

This is for that person, jinke baare mein, khabi khabi dil mein khayaal aata hai.