I am on a lonely road and I am traveling Traveling, traveling, traveling Looking for something, what can it be Oh I hate you some, I hate you some I love you some Oh I love you when I forget about me I want to be strong I want to laugh along I want to belong to the living Alive, alive, I want to get up and jive I want to wreck my stockings in some juke box dive Do you want - do you want - do you want To dance with me baby Do you want to take a chance On maybe finding some sweet romance with me baby Well, come on

All I really really want our love to do Is to bring out the best in me and in you too All I really really want our love to do Is to bring out the best in me and in you I want to talk to you, I want to shampoo you I want to renew you again and again Applause, applause - life is our cause When I think of your kisses My mind see-saws Do you see - do you see - do you see How you hurt me baby So I hurt you too Then we both get so blue

I am on a lonely road and I am traveling Looking for the key to set me free Oh the jealousy, the greed is the unraveling It's the unraveling And it undoes all the joy that could be I want to have fun, I want to shine like the sun I want to be the one that you want to see I want to knit you a sweater Want to write you a love letter I want to make you feel better I want to make you feel free Hmm, Hmm, Hmm, Hmm, Want to make you feel free I want to make you feel free

from Joni's fantastic album Blue. It has beautiful guitaring and singing. And this is a song that is a true reflection on love and the whole process behind that.

"Oh I love you when I forget me" says how I feel too, even though sometimes to forget myself in love is hard. Especially when "greed is the unravelling" of love and "undones all the joy that can be". I wonder how hard is to want little and be happy with what one already has and thus be free. Instead we end up hurting one another more and more and then "we both get so blue".

This also ties up with another Eagles song, "You think you will find happiness beyond that green hill, but you never will. So learn to be still".

But for now even though the last 2 weeks have been extremely painful, it was as if it took so long for the debris of the submarine blasted under the sea to surface, I take hope, put on my rose glasses, watch the sun falling across my desk and the pile of papers I have to finish reading by tonight and breathe the falling foliage scented air knowing that as in Bob Dylan's song, "it's not dark yet, but it's getting there" is the metaphor for this life I have been given to live.

I also bought 4 books on Amazon yesterday night and I plan to take a Poetics class next semester. Yeah!

Yes check out Joni's Blue!!

Across the evening sky, all the birds are leaving But how can they know it's time for them to go? Before the winter fire, I will still be dreaming I have no thought of time

For who knows where the time goes? Who knows where the time goes?

Sad, deserted shore, your fickle friends are leaving Ah, but then you know it's time for them to go But I will still be here, I have no thought of leaving I do not count the time

For who knows where the time goes? Who knows where the time goes?

And I am not alone while my love is near me I know it will be so until it's time to go So come the storms of winter and then the birds in spring again I have no fear of time

For who knows how my love grows? And who knows where the time goes?

Sandy died just a month after I was born (4-21-1978). She was 31.

It was only one hour ago It was all so different then Nothing yet has really sunk in Looks like it always did

This flesh and bone Is just the way that we are tired But there's no way home I grieve For you You leave me

So hard to move on Still loving what's gone Still life carries on Carries on and on

The news that truth sucks Is the empty empty place While the firelight rides the rocks The empty empty place And I can't hide all this I grieve For you You leave me

Let it out and move on Missing what's gone Still life carries on Still life carried on and on and on

Life carries on in the people I meet And everyone that's out on the street And all the dogs and cats And the flies and rats And the rod and the rust In the ashes and the dust

Life carries on and on and on and on Life carries on and on and on.

Just the car that we ride in The home we reside in The face that we hide in The way we are tied in

As life carries on and on.

Did I dream this belief Or did I believe this dream Now I will find relief I grieve