Laugh Central - Shaadi.com
So my friend emailed me this long fwd, supposedly containing excerpts from real profiles discovered by the intrepid at that Great Brown Hope site, Shaadi.com. And on reading which I nearly vomited my dinner in laughter. While I recognize that a command of the English language necessarily doesn't translate into the "goodness" of a person[1], bad language can make what is already a cliched[2] process of offering, ignoring and rejecting throw up bad or curious apples at the seekers while providing endless entertainment to (ironist) gwakers. So we bring you this public service message:
begin pointless transmission
If you are about to get on the Shaadi.com boat, pliss be getting some Engli-piss (this applies to junta across geographical boundaries) or you will be making your casual audience-
in the words of the gentleman whose quest went thus:
HYE I AM A GOOD LOKING BOY,WHO HAS THE CAPABILITY TO MAKE ANY BODY TO LOUGH.I BELIEVE IN GOD AND ACCORDING TO ME FRIENDS ARE THE REAL MESSENGER OF GOD. THE 3 THINGS I AM LOOKING FROM A GIRL ,THEY ARE
THEY MUST BELIEVE IN GOD.
THEY HAVE TO LIKE MY PROFFESION
AND THEY SHOULD NOT GET BORED WITH ME WHEN I WILL TRY TO MAKE THEM LOUGH.
- LOUGH! HAHA HEHE!
end of pointless transmission
[1] My research (@ Shaadi.com, conducted in the interests of larger humanity, i.e., le moi) had previously shown that this disease of abusing the English language is not limited to folks in India but instead is omigod you know like so universal
[2] This is evident from the heavy traffic in phraseology along the lines of "has strong family values", "moderate traditional values" (huh?), "fun loving", "tight knit"ting with family etc
My Daily Notes
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Thinkfulness
"Five senses; an incurably abstract intellect; a haphazardly selective memory; a set of preconceptions and assumptions so numerous that I can never examine more than a minority of them - never even become conscious of them all. How much of total reality can such an apparatus let through?"
- C. S. Lewis
I got this passage on a Catholic spiritual daily email (don't ask why and how I signed on for it!) today, and since it is a perfectly beautiful fall day here, and since I was feeling quite grumpy (because of longing - damn you abstract intellect, and you selective memory!), this Lewis-ism made me pause in my self-hatery, and look at the blue sky, and the chickadees attacking the bird feeder outside. And because of this I have decided to work outside, under my huggy oaks, for the rest of the afternoon. How much total reality my circular thinkery blocks indeed!
My Daily Notes
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What We Eat
One of the major trends that one would guess is sweeping how folks eat in United States is "healthy" - a slogan and a category that all consumer goods companies seem to have adopted in order to succeed. One needs only to track the phrases such as "high fibre", "vitamin rich" etc in the ad claims to see how pervasive this shift has been.
Given this, this NYT article on a grocery chain's own nutrition ration system indicates that most of these claims are, to borrow a turn of speech from it, "puffery" if not flat out misleading. The article uses claims for V8 juice as an example of how to give the impression of being healthy, while not being really that healthy; V8 juice is "like drinking a vitamin with a lot of salt on it". And this can't be helped, for as a food industry insider tartly quipped in that article,
"They have to keep the taste. Look at all those super-duper healthy products that are in those healthy food stores. They don’t taste good. Nothing is healthy if you get right down to it, except mother’s milk, and that’s probably got too much fat."
In essence, what the American customer wants is a veneer of health without the loss of anything that made processsed food taste great, and unhealthy in the first place. Who wants to eat lettuce and carrots? Not me. I need my "baked" Doritos* and Diet Coke any day. Jokes aside, in light of this it is bracing to read (or re-read) this Wendell Berry's essay The Pleasures of Eating.
* I have denied myself Doritos for months now, not because they will put a hole in my heart but because they do put a hole in the wallet. Freakin' four dollars (@ retail price) for a bag of chips is highway robbery! Ms. Nooyi, you ain't getting no love from this brutha.
My Daily Notes
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