A quater past midnight, my lips are parched but I am not thristy for water. After drowing in sound for more than four hours now I am trying to breate in this antiseptic silence. Music has blurred the boundaries between the sadness which had solidified into a hard tumor and the rest of me. Now like drops of red ink diffusing in a glass water, I feel the sad sensations move through me. But this is a good kind of sadness, this is a sadness that strengthens my soul and takes me to parts of me that are authentic.

There were songs played on the stage and there were songs that the inner and the hidden parts of me played. And sometimes both of them met, when the inner music swirled out to grab hold of the outer music which was seeping in. More than songs, the emotions behind the songs were timeless, affirmation of old stuff: tears, laugther, making up, breaking apart, love, hate, motion, stillness, betrayals, bad cards dealt knowingly, acceptance and blessed peace that comes after all the storms clear up.

Music also enabled me to go that place in this entity called me, where not everyone I know have touched. It's a magical place, the fountain head, the essence of the creative soul, the madness of the madman, that walking on water. And via tonight's music I made this journey again. I am writing this because I need to extricate these shooting lava like emotionopoeticmusicalovemadness and place them before someone. But with changing circumstances since I find myself without that someone who can listen to me and think I am speaking is much different from the ususal perorations of the tongue, I put them here to be read. That's all.

This was a song that I shared with you and now I share it with myself and everyone else. This was a song which I sung along joyously tonight. And this is a song that will make me rememeber that joy that comes from knowing magic, whenever I just might begin to question why you have done what you have done to this entity called US. And this is for those who will hold my hand because they want to with all their heart and for those who will not let go of me beacuse of a thing called faith.

Peace.

2002:08:10 00:30 Atlanta

With a little love, and some tenderness We'll walk upon the water We'll rise above this mess With a little peace, and some harmony We'll take the world together We'll take 'em by the hand

'Cause I've got a hand for you 'Cause I wanna run with you

Yesterday, I saw you standing there Your head was down, your eyes were red No comb had touched your hair I said get up, and let me see you smile We'll take a walk together Walk the road awhile, 'cause

'Cause I've got a hand for you I've got a hand for you 'Cause I wanna run with you Won't you let me run with you? yeah

Hold my hand Want you to hold my hand Hold my hand I'll take you to a place where you can be Hold my hand Anything you wanna be because I wanna love you the best that, the best that I can

See I was wasted, and I was wasting time 'Till I thought about your problems, I thought about your crimes Then I stood up, and then I screamed aloud I don't wanna be part of your problems Don't wanna be part of your crowd, no

'Cause I've got a hand for you I've got a hand for you 'Cause I wanna run with you Ah, won't you let me run with you?

Hold my hand Want you to hold my hand Hold my hand I'll take you to the promised land Hold my hand Maybe we can't change the world but I wanna love you the best that, the best that I can, yeah

Hold my hand Want you to hold my hand Hold my hand I'll take you to a place where you can be Hold my hand Anything you wanna be because I...Oh...No, No, No, No, No

Hold my hand Want you to hold my hand Hold my hand I'll take you to the promised land Hold my hand Maybe we can't change the world but I wanna love you the best that, best that I can Oh, The best that I can

• Hootie and The Blowfish

On the way back from the house, just a few minutes ago, I saw down the street as in I practiced seeing. Today is a beautiful day, slightly cloudy with a nice breeze. And the garden patches in front of the homes down the street had a whole lot of flowers blooming. Given that so much beauty exsists, it's hard to give up on life.

That apart later this evening I will be seeing Jennifer Nettles Band again. She is a talented song writer but then a lot of folks wouldn't get to hear her music thanks to the music industry's prelidiction to bubble gum chewing lip syncing Britney Spearish unifrom fantasies. I know, I know those of you that know me already must be saying, there goes his usual rant on "meaningful" music again.

Actually I suspect that there is this super generic pop lyric machine somewhere out there in California. This machine (which I think) would be modeled like a slot machine out of Vegas, will take a nickle ( oh yeah music is cheap baby) and scream "Bingo Jackpot" and give the seeker a "hit" lyric such as:

yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah (mummmm yeah yeah oh yeah I am ****ing baby...f**k me )

I think I did it again I made you believe we're more than just friends (refer to the above two out of a porn movie lines... jeez after that how can we be just friends!) Oh baby It might seem like a crush But it doesn't mean that I'm serious 'Cause to lose all my senses That is just so typically me Oh baby, baby (The machine had taken an acid trip and was confessing its sins the next day)

Lyric: "Oops... I did it again" - Britney Spears

Yes, if anyone who is reading this owns a "BS" CD ( just noticed how the abbreviated name is BS, great Bull Shit!) I didn't mean to offend thy, for you are free to spend your substitue your currency to enrich Miss BS.

However to offer an interesting lyrical contrast I present a lyric from JNB:

It's been five long weeks since I've been able to kiss your face And that always makes me question if this bullshit is worth it in the first place 'Cause I have to know the story of your bones And I long to rove the map of your skin And I'm tired of us both feeling loved yet alone I want to feel where you've hurt, I want to taste where you've been

But what will they say Will they still come and hear me when they know I love you this way As I read you with my mouth and my finger tips Like berries you color my hands, like wine you stain my lips

Lyric: "Story of Your Bones" - JNB.

Now go figure why such songs don't go multi platinum? Yes maybe the fact that Jennifer doesn't care to undress a la BS is an issue. What is that (B)shit about wearing a mirco undies type costume inside another and ripping the outer one off, is it music or some strip show? And ofcourse there is the vulnerable school girl look in the music videos. Excuse me but what are we selling here, music or Japanese school girl porn?

When Gandhi was fighting for Indian Independence, folks burnt cloth from Lancester mills in public squares. Something like that is long due in the music industry. I would like to throw my bottle of gasoline on such a dump of BS music.

With that I end this rant. Yes, JNB's site has a few Mp3s so check them out.

membres.lycos.fr

for a video of "How many times more" where in a guitar is played with a violin bow!! wow wow!