Mother, Father Source I come

my mind beats like a restless drum

from You I flow back to You I go

teach me what to forget

and know.

conrad levasseur

I will not die an unlived life. I will not live in fear of falling or catching fire. I choose to inhabit my days, to allow my living to open me, to make me less afraid, more accessible, to loosen my heart until it becomes a wing, a torch, a promise. I choose to risk my significance; to live so that which came to me as seed goes to the next as blossom and that which came to me as blossom, goes on as fruit.

fully alive - dawna markova

Another baffling aspect of love is our hatefulness with loved ones. I have often been the most hateful and mean with the people I love the most.

After I married, I can remember driving home, vowing to be sweet and loving no matter what, and then walking in the house and immediately saying something critical. Afterward I would feel terrible about what I did or said. A week or so later I would do it again.

This book says a few things which are relevant for you, on page 18 especially.