Dear god or whoever,

I am writing this uncertain note to an uncertain you, because there is a need to unburden myself. Perhaps you don’t exist; perhaps you are a simple narrative, which man in all his weakness has fashioned for himself as a stay against the horrors that infest him, the world he lives in and which he in turn burdens the world with. However since there are opposites of almost everything, we do praise what is beautiful and transcendent, perhaps then we praise you. We have done this through our works, poems, books; some of which are considered the definite truth by some of us. I wonder, as I fumble with words now and knowing how imperfect they are, if words alone can tell and show me what is real from the unreal. And I happen to live in, what to me appears as an unreal world. Perhaps it is my doubts about it make it appear so.

There are others here who seem to be only full of certainties. They tell me they know what is evil and what is good. But they refuse to clarify how they have arrived at such an understanding of the world. And even when they do, I see that their reasoning is rooted in their experience (and is not prejudice too rooted in one’s experiences?). And consequently, I can’t come to the same conclusions they are offering to me. Perhaps they have a direct line to you, if you are not a lie and do happen to be around. They must, because they claim a divine ordinance drives their actions, and that you talk to them, and that they act in your name and seek to follow and fulfill your will.

And most of these actions seem to usually lead to killing, this again is distinguished and finessed with words: terror, collateral damage, unfortunate death or sub humans who deserve to be exterminated. You will have to tell me how do I distinguish between the sadness I feel on each of these occasions, for each of the various deaths: by bullet, by gas, by laser guided bomb, or by a plane crashed into a building? Am I even supposed to respond to anything when I see that there are no moral absolutes, except as claimed by the various parties (all of whom claim your tutelage), and perhaps which are hidden somewhere in the colossal dung heap of ‘facts’, which are again words and not reality?

Perhaps it is because of this reason I have decided never to adopt a belief system, each of which is riddled with half-truths if not outright lies. It also seems absurd to mouth pieties and these prayers when there is a sea of violence within me. Perhaps others are more pure and more peaceful, and yes I occasionally do see evidence of this and I do give thanks. I am now however sitting here in the dark room and interrogating the self, the telephone operator who perhaps has you number.

Answer me sometime, if you exist.

Sincerely, A human being