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Buoy the population of the soul
Toward their destination before they drown
~ Robert Pinsky
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Wednesday, 11. June 2003

Grocery Store Ambush



You shouldn't go to the grocery at or after midnight. It's not a reasonable hour to be outside, you can get shot.Besides the aisles have terrors waiting for you under the clean florouscent lights:

See the plants and flowers; they are angry for being made to sit all day in there with people pawing and smelling them, they want to escape and sit on a window sill, where sun sets redly over a city and where they can watch planes zig zag in the sky and be pampered by a woman who coos at them "My babies". So you have to understand they are really really mad and will take you hostage.

Given that you escape these somehow, you have to negotiate with cereals, a whole row of cereals. Another ice age will arrive beforeyou can decide what to pick. Museli which you have eaten raw but it may not taste good any longer, without the smell of her, you know who! Oatmeal is fine, someone else gave you the habit, you have forgotten her and yet remeber too, because now you like oatmeal.However now you have changed your tastes, from tuxedo oatmeal to bum oatmeal. And to eat this you will need berries and to get berries you have to go back to the valley of plants, where those bandits are waiting for you with drawn knives. So you have to skip cereals and your shopping cart is empty.

By now you are so striken with fear that you would start racing down the store: you would avoid coffee, frozen okra, baby food, meat,candy, yourself, soap, birthday cards, deathday cards etc etc And since you are starving, which why you had gone to the store, you would start hallucinating. You would stare at the roof and think someone is pressing her soft lips onto yours as she rides the full cart you had been pushing. This will make you disoriented and you will wander around aimlessly chasing mirages in the white light desert.

Then finally after enough time has passed and people who might have given you a lift to the store filed a missing person report (don't think you would be found and rescued by cops, it's this happy contended pig they would be searching for, not you) you might arrive at the end of the store only to drown in bottles as you might very well load up the cart with six packs, twele packs, a couple of cases of liquers and wine that comes in blue bottles: think this will be sweet and easy to drink? You should know better, the aftermath is always bitter and it will be hard to drink.

Say now you think you are this cool cat who has nine lives with seven more left in hand and you did manage to somehow get some stuff: a box of donuts, a bag of apples, your barely recognizable self,a loaf of bread etc to the cashier who will greet you with "How are you doing sir?" You will then want to sit down right there in the aisle and cry. But instead you would have to make a smile and thus die once more. Then as you would be pushing your cart out pinching yourself for having come out alive, a car will pull up out of which will jump out a guy and a girl, you can almost smell their love making freshness and feel your own hunger.People in love are so inconsiderate about folks like you, so they will perhaps to spite you, kiss six times and before you know you are a dead cat lying on your back, saluting the star spangeled banner fluttering in the breeze.

So keep out of grocery stores at midnight or get ambushed.




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