Late last night, before hitting the sack I was scanning the Google News page for a dose of murder and mayhem (which is what news is mostly these god awful days) to stimulate my nightmares, when I saw an entire news tab devoted to Indra Nooyi’s raise to the fizz and cholesterol capped top of PepsiCo (I am not knocking PepsiCo; I need my PMS fix of $3 bag of Lays Flamin’ Hot Potato Chips too. And if any PepsiCo honcos are reading this, please consider giving me a free lifetime supply of these chips). However, what amused me was the content of the various newspaper headlines reporting this piece of exciting news; here is a “selective” sampling:

A Woman to Be Chief at PepsiCo (New York Times, USA) India emigre named first female CEO of PepsiCo (San Jose Mercury News, USA) Nooyi: Indian zing behind American fizz (Times of India, India) Iron woman takes charge of Team Pepsi (Hindustan Times, India) Indian-born Nooyi takes over at PepsiCo (Guardian Unlimited, UK) Asian woman named CEO at Pepsi (Independent, UK)

If you didn’t notice it yet, note how all the headlines in this selection traffic with Ms. Nooyi’s sex and national origins. This is a paradox in Friedman-ic “Flat World”: while it is gratifying to see a woman, one of Indian origin at that, heading a large global corporation; it is a paradox in the sense that newspapers have to trumpet these limited markers rather than her competence or abilities. Makes one wonder, doesn’t it, how these headlines would have read if someone called, say John Doe, was appointed CEO of some big corporation?

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Ms. Nooyi was in the news a year or so ago when she gave a metaphor laden (geographies/continents as fingers and America as the middle finger) graduation speech at Colombia University’s Business School. Folks at Sepia Mutiny wrote about this speech, and the subsequent mini firestorm that was set off by rightwing junta in the ‘blogsphere’. And last night a blog at USA Today mentioned this ‘controversy’ again; these were some of the more interesting lines:

Nooyi did apologize for her statements after they were made public in the blogosphere, adding that "I love America unshakably -- without hesitation -- and am extremely grateful for the opportunities and support our great nation has always provided me."

Of course, Ms. Nooyi had to apologize and genuflect at the altar of flaming and uncritical nationalism (which is quite different from patriotism) – she was the CFO of PepsiCo after all at that time, and corporations, constantly fingered by Adam Smith’s invisible hand, can’t afford to have political or ethical consciences. Further, since Ms. Nooyi was originally from elsewhere (i.e., she certainly ain’t our color), she also has to be “extremely grateful for the opportunities” that the “great nation” had provided to her. Statements like these make (the brown) me almost belive that CFO/CEO-ship of a corporation is bestowed by Lady Liberty as soon as one disembarks from the boat or airplane sans any bloody hardwork.

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Since this we are on the subject of muck racking graduation speeches here are some excellent ones I found (not recommended if you are a delusional Republican camper, i.e., you have no funny bone):

Playwright Tony Kushner @ Columbia (the speech begins at 49 mins) Jon Stewart @ William & Mary Will Ferrell @ Harvard