Another baffling aspect of love is our hatefulness with loved ones. I have often been the most hateful and mean with the people I love the most.

After I married, I can remember driving home, vowing to be sweet and loving no matter what, and then walking in the house and immediately saying something critical. Afterward I would feel terrible about what I did or said. A week or so later I would do it again.

This book says a few things which are relevant for you, on page 18 especially.