Why did I dream of you last night?
Now morning is pushing back hair with grey light

Memories strike home, like slaps in the face; Raised on elbow, I stare at the pale fog beyond the window.

So many things I had thought forgotten

Return to my mind with stranger pain:

• Like letters that arrive addressed to someone Who left the house so many years ago.

Outside the already dark sky is darkened by heavy rain clouds. Inside of me, my voice box seeking words for you, hears them in the murmur of rain. It has started thundering. You turn on a light, you turn this way and that, my eyes move with your motions. And I remember the first time I was seated in a opthamologist's office and saw Es in various sizes reversed, mirror imaged and tumbled upside down. It has taken me time but I now know what all those E's were. They are the echoes of your love. Say Loveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. See so many Es.

Should I thank myself for landing on the Square of Chance in this Monopoly game? You own all the squares now and you make me pay rent. And I keep landing in your squares. You laughter brings me to them. It almost ripples like a gondola floating over a Venice canal, I am standing on its bank. You have a mask around your eyes. You define the sentence "If looks can kill." There is no music till you move. Paganini must have written Moto Perpetuo after watching a vision like you dancing on cobbled stoned squares. You move your body and your curves move dangerously. I am frozen, by two great forces, deep desire riding deep love. Outside dark clouds are riding dark skies.

2002:07:14 21:30 Atlanta

I know what you're doing, I see it all too clear I only taste the saline when I kiss away your tears You really had me going, wishing on a star But the black holes that surround you are heavier by far I believed in your confusion, you were so completely torn Well it must have been that yesterday was the day that I was born There's not much to examine, there's nothing left to hide You really can't be serious if you had to ask me why I say goodbye...

'Cause I am barely breathing And I can't find the air I don't know who I'm kidding Imagining you care And I could stand here waiting A fool for another day But I don't suppose it's worth the price, worth the price The price that I would pay

Everyone keeps asking, what's it all about? I used to be so certain and I can't figure out What is this attraction? I only feel the pain There's nothing left to reason and none left to blame Will it ever change?

'Cause I am barely breathing And I can't find the air I don't know who I'm kidding Imagining you care And I could stand here waiting A fool for another day But I don't suppose it's worth the price, worth the price The price that I would pay But I'm thinking it over anyway...

I've come to find I may never know Your changing mind Is it friend or foe?

I rise above Or sink below With every time You come and go Please don't come and go

'Cause I am barely breathing And I can't find the air I don't know who I'm kidding Imagining you care And I could stand here waiting A fool for another day But I don't suppose it's worth the price, worth the price The price that I would pay But I'm thinking it over anyway...

which is true... I am barely breathing today.