One night they both needed different things of a similar kind; she, solace; he, to be consoled. So after a wine-deepened dinner when they arrived at their house seperately in the same car, each already had been failing the other with what seemed an unbearable delay of what felt due. What solace meant to her was being understood so well you'd give it to her before she asked. To him, consolation was a network of agreements: say what you will as long as you acknowledge what I mean. In the bedroom they undressed and dressed and got into bed. The silence was what fills a tunnel after a locomotive passes through. Days later the one most needy finally spoke. "What's on TV tonight?" he said this time, and she answered, and they were okay again. Each, forever, would remember the failure to give solace, the failure to be consoled. And many, many future nights would find them turning to their respective sides of the bed, terribly awake and twisting up the covers, or, just as likely, moving closer and sleeping forgetfully the night long.

Adversary is my instructor Beauty and perfection is my life Conscience is my living guide Difficulty is my stimulant Experience is my teacher Faith is my breath God is my father Honesty is my goal Inspiration is my guard Joy is my hymn Kindness is my law Light is my realisation Mother is my form Nature is my companion Obstacle is my lesson Peace is my shelter Quest is my partner Reasoning is my attitude Struggle is my opportunity Truth is my worship Understanding is my promise Vision is my fervent hope Work is my bounteous bliss Xerox is my process Yearning is my habit Zeroness is my ambition

Thanks Jaya for sending me this. I needed these affirmations, waking up with my heart and head in a mess this morning.

Joy! S 8.30 AM.

What grieves me is not What lies within the heart, But those things of beauty Which never can be . . .

They are the shapeless shapes Which pass, though sorrow Cannot know them Nor love dream them.

They are as though sadness Were a tree and, one by one, Its leaves were to fall Half outlined in the mist.