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Buoy the population of the soul
Toward their destination before they drown
~ Robert Pinsky
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Sunday, 30. January 2005

How An Exile Lives



[A] Morning alarm

I wake up to a booming sound – anybody there?

	Anybody there,

in the dark kitchen, next to the warm stove, pounding fragrant spices in the granite mortar and pestle?

When eyes open fully and focus on the dim light coming from the windows, only a stale smell of beer, and snow laden boughs crashing.

[B] First acts

While coffee is brewing, gray black like this dawn, the white pages of Kuruntokai fall open on my lap like a split glass of warm milk.

Why am I reading this, first thing after waking, turning pages with fingers colored ghostly yellow, smelling of turmeric and sandalwood? At whose wedding was I throwing auspicious rice in blessing? In what dream?

[C] Stepping out

The woods are clamped shut in the vice of winter stillness. Blue hands, cold hands part the brambles on the path,

Part the green branches of her robe and reach for her mango breasts. Listen. Isn’t that the koel that moaned All summer in the hollow of Banalata’s throat?

[D] Watching the Falls

Clouds are unloading their burdens here. Ice drops recoil from my face, glittering like river sand, like freshly unhusked rice. Air too cold, too clean to breathe.

Where are all those cities of shit and sweat? Where are our bodies bound tight by thick ropes of monsoon rains and the delicate aromas of the love juices?

[E] Gliding over

Frost had killed all the flowers long ago. Now everything is shriveled up. The pond froze over last night, and is now thick with ice.

I glide over freed from walking. Yet under my feet I see my stupid, fishy heart darting about for crumbs, which her hands may have dropped, long ago.

[F] Coming to a stop

Like a frentic Christmas shopper, I will have to chase baubles under neon Lights: blues, greens, golds.

I can only come to rest When I see your eyes across a table - moist black stones sunk in a stream thick with jasmine, shaped like the flames of earthen lamps filled with ghee - in this now dark city of electric sighs.




My Poems

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