Sashi your poems are beautiful, and if you are calling them "scribbles" then you are giving me a huge inferiority complex! :( ... considering one worked hard on ones own 2 cents worth, and at the cost of many nights of staring and scratching ... if you know what i mean. i like the way the colours mutate in your poems: blue to white to black; and the seasonal change from fall to winter ... though you are very sparing of fall colours! i also like the wonderful succint way in which you make each word count.

the phrase that created the greatest shock/surprise for me was some antimony to soften your unloving eyes ... what incredible imagery. loved it. particularly the inversion of the thought.

dont know if you really want feedback ... but here it goes:

parallels: i think you intend to say is that you wont meet again ... but it seems to tell me that if the first proposition holds, then you are going to meet again. if the last is what the poet actually wishes for, then the poem (for me) loses a little drama ... gets closer to saying "please, please come back"; rather than saying that it was an infinite accident when we met at all (have i read it right?)

unlanguaged: (what a wonderful word!) the poem seems split into 2 ... one to do with birds ... and the other with trees -- the 2 dont connect. also, the activity of the birds seems to lead nowhere. in other words, in my mind, you build up to activity, and then abandon it ... so then i dont know what to do with the activity you built up in my mind :)

cant, and dont want to say anything about black

cheers kiran

I am in a strange state of soul and mind Poorvi, and your story reminds me very much of a series of distressful pieces I wrote on and off over the last few years here in America with similar themes.

I can only say it was a fine piece, even if it was a quick sketch.

Thanks. Sashi

Hi Sashi,

I did not mean the visual placement, I meant the sounds. I agree that poetry is vocal, but line breaks, as in pauses, are part of teh poetry, I think. It is distracting to have line breaks that appear more random than not, or appear to be there instead of a punctuation mark. Line length in terms of syllables is a general rule-of-thumb I have used in the past and it has helped me a lot.

I will get to the Gulzar. But not if you don't comment on the prose :-) (just joking!)

I just checked out your website - you've got a lot of stuff there - can't get to it now, no matter how many distractions I seek.

Poorvi